Love Makes No Demands

We all are familiar with the quest to find love in our lives. Many of us have memories of experiences of very intense love, as well as the intense absence of it. For the most part, all of us in some way or on some level seek to experience more love in our lives.

The Bible scripture passage 1 Corinthians 13 is one of the most famously quoted and therefore familiar to many. In verse 5, it states that love “...does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” The statement, “it is not self seeking,” speaks volumes to me and explains in part my many experiences of lovelessness.

Clearly the love spoken of here is unconditional. To be honest, the love I’ve been seeking has been far short of unconditional. I realize that in all of my relationships there are some levels of demands and expectations that I set before I’m willing to give my love to others. In my mind I think,”you must be faithful to me; you must not hurt me; you must not leave me;” and so on.

Not only do these thoughts jeopardize my relationships by making demands on love, my demands on love create barriers that keep the very love I seek beyond my reach.

If I seek to experience more love in my life, I must be willing to give it unconditionally. As the universe abhors a vacuum, the space I create in my heart by giving it unconditionally attracts the same gift of love back to me, filling that space in my heart. This is the principle that giving and receiving are one energy flow, which is activated by the “giving.”

While learning to love unconditionally is a tall order, we know that from the most sacred of teaching that this is what we are called to do. It is only through unconditional love that we can come to recognize and fully embrace the divine within ourselves and the people around us.

And so today, I intend to give my love with no demands. When I vaulter, I will not punish myself, instead I will recall my attention and try again. The more I practice giving love without demands, the more love I will experience in my life.